New Age Yoga Vs. Traditional Yoga: A Funny Story – Part 2

…You have read thus far: Chanchal and Nischal were discussing on a new age yoga called Chilli Yoga. 

Nischal’s last comment is repeated here to ensure continuity. Have fun!

Nischal: “Traditionally, yoga is taught by masters to qualified disciples  to help one realize his/her Individual Self. The real yoga has to be freely available to help everybody.  What is this patenting stuff?  I don’t understand. I am lost.”

Chanchal: “Let me explain. I am sure you will be convinced with numbers. You know, Chilli Yoga LLC has 59% global market share in US$ 6 billion Yoga industry. This sector is growing by whopping 27.8% every year. Chilli Yoga has helped many in curing various diseases like depression, psychotic disorders, diabetes etc. This is actually backed up by enough scientific and clinical data. The company charges a fee for their social service to help people enjoy healthier and happier lives. I hope now you can understand the logic and rationale more clearly.

Patents help the company to prevent  its competitors or individuals from using its proprietary yoga poses and technologies. This in turn helps to retain Chilli’s dominant position in the market place. Further, it ensures that Chilli  can continue to deliver value with excellent quality and service to its esteemed customers around the globe.”

Nischal: “Thanks for an MBA lecture! The company has an excellent business model to generate revenue in every possible way. Unbelievable people. My teacher has taught me that the purpose of yoga is to merge with that  Universal Self  which is beyond the your limited science or logic. The diseases give us an opportunity to pay for our past deeds (a.k.a karma).   There is no point in keeping curing the diseases as the goal of yoga. It is great if an ailment is cured by your yoga practice. However, it is not the real goal of yoga.  It is much wiser to practice yoga when you are healthy and strong, to prevent diseases rather than practicing it after becoming a patient.

I think, the word yoga is being misused to label a package of some fitness exercises. This is misleading many people.  Some others are following the crowd without any logic or thinking. What a pity! The God should help the practitioners of these so called modern or new age  yoga systems. Since you are my best friend, I would  advice you to stay away from these. Do not yield yourself to any  gimmicks or hype of these fake yoga systems.  Practice the traditional Indian Yoga with a master.  You will be far better and happier.  Now I am more curious.  Any other interesting features of your Chilli Yoga?”

Chanchal: “I forgot to mention. This yoga is done at -10 Degree Celsius(14 Degree F) with 93% humidity in a yoga studio. Hence, the name  Chilli Yoga indicating chilling temperature.  The validation studies show that this optimal temperature and humidity  are important parameters to be successful in this yoga.  So, it cannot be practiced at home.

Also, we need to wear specialized warm jackets during this yoga session. These clothes are available for purchase for a nominal price or on rent. According to Chilli, these clothes help to warm up the body to enhance sweating to expel harmful toxins. This again justifies the name: Chilli, which also means pepper, spicy and hot. So, the Chilli Yoga creatively indicates –  performing yoga enjoying both hot and cold at the same time!”

Nischal: “O My God! Look at this. Yoga at sub-zero temperature and with machines? Cannot be practiced at home? Give me a break! Here is the chilling truth about all that stuff: These are just tricks to ensure that you pay for costly membership to use the studio facilities.

Be wise. Do a favor for yourself.  Take my advice. Do not waste your valuable time and money. Cancel that membership right away. Learn the real yoga the traditional way as described by our Indian Scriptures and our Great Masters!  Anything more you want to share?”

Chanchal:  “Oh, I see. Now, I realize these tricks. One more thing, as I mentioned, the machine maneuvers our body in various directions rhythmically synchronizing with the latest rock number.  The company says that a lot of their customers like that way, citing the feedback from a survey. Since staying in a single asana(pose) is kind of static and boring, rocking to music relaxes the practitioner. Thus, it provides a pure rush of happiness!”

Nischal:  “Rush of happiness? You can as well take a roller-coaster ride to have that. Any of these kind of happiness feeling is no way comparable to the blissful experience that  you get by merging with the ever blissful Universal Self.

Please understand clearly: practicing just asanas is not yoga, but a step in real yoga. According to traditional masters like Maharishi Patanjali, asana is one of the eight steps in Raja Yoga. Fundamental rule of asana is that, it has to be comfortable and stable to keep your spine straight to calm down the mind.  This will help us to see the reflection of our Self in the clear mirror of the mind. Any movement in the body disturbs the mind. This is the principle of traditional Raja Yoga that I practice.

Your Chilli Yoga, violates all these basic principles in one go. Moreover, they are even bending the rules to satisfy the needs of the customers! This is the height. Can you commercialize it more? What nonsense is this!  Chanchal, wake up now and think! Do you still want to do this type of so called yoga without any real purpose? You should better use your brain, I guess! “

Chanchal: “Yeah. I fully agree with your analyses and thoughts. I am getting your point now. This is a new realization for me. Trust me – you have opened my eyes.  As per your suggestion, I will cancel my subscription to Chilli Yoga right away calling that toll-free customer care number. But, as you know, I am interested in real yoga. Could you please help?”

Nischal: “Oh, Sure. Why not? Everybody should practice and benefit from traditional Indian yoga. I will take you to my Guru (master) tomorrow.”

Chanchal: “Thanks a lot! It is my great fortune that I met you in this trip to India. Thank God! What an enlightenment! I am blessed today.”

As they agreed, next day, Nischal introduced Chanchal to his Guru. They discovered real happiness within themselves(not in machines or outside) by practicing traditional Indian yoga as taught by Hindu Scriptures and Great Masters.

Note: If you want to understand more on traditional yoga, we suggest you to read the articles in this blog. You will thank yourself that you did! If you happened to save your money by cancelling an expensive yoga membership, please consider donating some amount to a local charity anonymously. All new visitors to the our blog  may read our policy and FAQ before they start reading other articles. All the best!

Om Namah Shivaya ||

– Kalidas

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